Also, I’m getting better at hip hooping. Still need to work on my floating, and my passing is ok, but really I need more space (preferably outside where I won’t run the risk of ruining a tv or mirror).

And my poi…well that’s kind of a disaster. I need to start from square one with restuffing my socks.

Fucking housemate put up the treadmill and I can’t figure out how to get it down again. Don’t know why, it was fine the way it was before. (-_-);;

Ophelia. Her name slid over the tongue like a fine wine. She was as pretty as a pistol that one, a rare breed of femme fatale. No one quite knew what she did for a living, but she always looked nice and bartenders smiled extra wide when they poured her a drink. Some whispered that she was a call girl for rich business men, others said she was the mistress of a well known Hollywood hotshot. I didn’t care. She was my dark haired angel, my Ophelia. The last of the danger dames.

And when I knocked on her door and asked her to come with me, you can bet she already had a suitcase packed.

“So where we going?”

I shrugged. “Don’t know yet.”

She smiled, and although her eyes were hidden behind sunglasses, I could tell they were smiling too. “How exciting.”

We fell into a comfortable silence. She stared out the window, her fingers tracing patterns along the horizon. I could smell her perfume, sweet with some foreign spices mixed in. Mysterious and fae. I wanted Ophelia, but on my honor as a gentleman I would wait for her to make the first move. Please don’t take too long, darling.

“You know, Henry never took me on adventures like this.”

I checked my jealousy. “Who’s Henry?”

Ophelia waved her hand in the air in a dismissive gesture. “Oh you know, Henry. The nice man who kept giving me money. He was a dear at first, a little boring, but that’s how most older men are. Anyway, he got a green eyed bug under his skin and wouldn’t let me have any fun.  But I took care of Henry, so we don’t have to worry about him.”

My grip on the wheel tightened as my stomach did a twirl. “What did you do?”

She smiled and pointed her fingers like a gun. “I shot him three times with his own pistol. That’s why I was so glad you came along. The cops might have found me if I stayed in the apartment too long. And besides,” she ran a finger down the side of my cheek. I tried hard not to show how nice it felt, but she still coaxed a pleasant shiver out of me.

“I always liked you, Red. Don’t ever forget it. We’re going to make a good team. I’ll take care of you and you’ll take care of me. Isn’t that right?”

“Sure darling, I’ll take care of you.”

“Promise?”

I promise.

Australian
[ ] You wear flip flops all year.
[ ] You call flip flops thongs not flip flops.
[] You love a backyard Barbie.
[] You know a Barbie is not a doll.
[] You love the beach.
[x] Sometimes you swear without realizing.
[ ] You’re a sports fanatic.
[ ] You are tanned.
[ ] You’re a bit of a bogan.
[ ] You have an Australian something
Total: 1

Italian
[] The Sopranos is a great show.
[] Your last name ends in a vowel. (“and sometimes y” D:)
[] Your grandmother makes her own sauces.
[] You know how a real meatball tastes.
[] You know Italian songs.
[ half x] You have dark hair and dark eye color.
[] You speak some Italian.
[x] You are under 5’10”
[ ] You know what a Italian horn is
[x] Pizza/spaghetti is the best food in the world!
[x] You talk with your hands.
Total: 3 and a half

Spanish
[ ] You say member instead of Remember.
[ ] You speak Spanish or some.
[] You like tacos.
[ ] YoU TyPe lIkE ThIs On Da CoMpUtEr.
[ ] You are dark skinned.
[x] You know what a Puta is.
[ ] You talk fast occasionally.
[x] You have had highlights or have dyed your hair.
[ ] You know what platanos are.
Total: 2

Russian
[ ] You say villain as: Vee-lon.
[x] You get short tempered.
[] You know of somebody named Natasha.
[x] You get cold easily.
[ ] Rain is fun for you.
[ ] You get into contests all the time.
[ ] You can easily make do with the cold weather.
Total: 2

Irish
[ ] You think beer is the best.
[x] You have a bad temper.
[] Your last name starts with a Mc, Murph, O’, Fitz or ends with a ley, on, un, an, in, ry, ly, y.
[x] You have blue or green eyes.
[x] You like the color green.
[ ] You have been to a St. Patty’s Day Party.
[ x] You have a family member from Ireland.
[ ] You have blonde hair.
[ ] You have/had freckles.
[x] Your family get togethers always include drinking and singing. (well, drinking at least )
Total: 5

African American
[ ] You say nigga/nukka casually
[ ] You have nappy hair.
[] You like rap.
[ ] You know how to shoot a gun
[] You think President George Walker Bush is racist.
[] You like chicken.
[] You like watermelon.
[] You can dance.
[ ] You can ‘sing’ gospel.
Total: 0

Asian
[ ] You have slanty/small eyes.
[x ] You like rice a lot.
[ ] You are good at math.
[ ] You have played the piano.
[ ] You have family from Asia.
[x] You laugh sometimes covering your mouth.
[ ] Most people think you’re Chinese.
[ ] You call hurricanes typhoons.
[ ] You go to Baulko.
Total: 2

German
[x] You like bread.
[] You think German Chocolate is good.
[] You Speak some German.
[] You know what Schnitzel is.
[] You hate it when stupid people call you a Nazi.
[] You went to Pre-school.
[x] You’re over 5’2
Total: 2

Canadian
[ ] You like/play/played hockey.
[ ] You love beer.
[ ] You say eh.
[ ] You know what poutine is.
[ x] You speak some French.
[ x] You love Tim Horton’s.
[ ] At one point you lived in a farm house.
[x] You watch/watched Degrassi.
Total: 3

American
[] You hate foreigners.
[ ] You hate non – Christians.
[x] You’re lazy.
[ ] You are not cultured.
[ ] You hate abortion.
[x] But love the death penalty.
[ ] You don’t read.
[ ] You shop at Wal-Mart.
[ ] You think this survey is rather biased.
Total: 2

Japanese
[x] You say “Eeeeeeeeh?” to anything remotely strange.
[ ] You ride a bicycle, train, or combination of the two to work.
[x] You think raw fish and rice is the best food combination ever.
[x] You cover your mouth when you laugh.
[] You slurp your noodles
[x] You’ve dyed you’re hair a lighter color.
[x] You rather text message than call someone.
[] You keep your place neat.
[ ] You wear a bandana when you are protesting or studying
[ ] You bow when you greet someone new.
Total: 5

Chinese
[ ] You know all 12 animals in the Zodiac
[ ] You have a calendar, which you rip off each day
[] You look good in red
[x] Only talkative with friends but not with others
[ ] Know/practice feng shui
[ ] Have fairly long hair
[ ] Can speak some Mandarin
[ ] Can write with a brush
[ ] Keep potted plants
[x ] Played ping pong before
Total: 2

Korean
[x] Can take spicy foods
[ ] Know what ‘Sarangheyo’ means
[] You can be sometimes rude and outspoken
[ ] You can sing really good
[ ] You prefer Love/Hate relationships
[ ] You like watching romance
[ ] You family owns/runs a store
[x] You have natural full pink lips
[] You know someone with Kim as their last name
[x] You’ve threatened someone by saying you’ll bury them
Total: 3

I Google you
late at night when I don’t know what to do
I find photos
you’ve forgotten
you were in
put up by your friends

I Google you
when the day is done and everything is through
I read your journal
that you kept
that month in France
I’ve watched you dance

And I’m pleased your name is practically unique
it’s only you and
a would-be PhD in Chesapeake
who writes papers on
the structure of the sun
I’ve read each one

I know that I
should let you fade
but there’s that box
and there’s your name
somehow it never makes the pain
grow less or fade or disappear
I think that I should save my soul and
I should crawl back in my hole
But it’s too easy just to fold
and type your name again
I fear
I google you
Whenever I’m alone and feeling blue
And each scrap of information
That I gather
says you’ve got somebody new
And it really shouldn’t matter
ought to blow up my computer
but instead….
I google you